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Shawn Quinn
10-05-01
Formal Essay #
Instructor, Brenda Wilson
Write your Patience research paper
Aging is a New Beginning
When thinking of death, what comes to my mind is whether or not there is everlasting life. Although I am Catholic and believe in heaven, I sometimes ponder if there really is a so-called "life after death". My own progression toward death involves a serious conflict in my mind. I still to this day find myself not in fear of dying, but in fear of how I will do in life before I die. Regardless of what I fear I look forward to happily growing old and someday peacefully reaching my demise.
When thinking of my evolution from a baby until now I cannot even fathom how much time I still have left. How many days I have to accomplish all of my goals in life. When I think of aging I start to picture myself as a father, even a grandfather, happily living as if there are no cares in the world.
As each day goes by, the realization that I am getting older only leads me to take initiative to
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accomplish my responsibilities. For example when one chooses to marry, they no longer are just supporting themselves they now support their spouse as well. Another example is when I am ready to have kids; the responsibility of raising children is drastically underestimated. I want to be the best father I can, which actually is the main fear in my life. The aspect of aging brings upon times when you need to really dig deep and find out what you are made of. So, in progressing towards old age I really hope I can fulfill my greatest goal of being a wonderful father.
Another detail that comes to mind with maturing is the realization that my career will have to support me for the rest of my life. Whether or not I like my job will no longer be an option, and the days of parental support are few and far between. The fact that I will not only be on my own, but supporting a family is a heavy burden, and monetary support is an aspect of aging constantly overlooked. In my progression I want to have a career where I like getting up in the morning and furthermore enjoy my job.
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Another idea that comes to mind with growing old is that fact that I will possibly begin to look in the mirror and see more wrinkles and less hair. I would not necessarily say I fear this but more I do not look forward to the physical aspects of aging. I also do not look forward to the bulging of my stomach or lack of mobility. Moreover I am scared of disease. The fact that one can die of diseases is what scares me the most about life. Not that I am scared to die, but the fact that life is short, and disease can make those days even fewer.
Is being "over the hill" really that bad? This is a question I once asked my father to find out if middle-age life actually gets that bad. His response re-assured me that life really is not fulfilled until you reach the point knowing you have raised your children. My father also told me to cherish my youth, so I also continue to stay a kid for a long as possible.
Besides physical, and emotional aging there is mental aging; the true time when what one learns in life comes into play. Think of the countless stories
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grandparents tell their grandkids, and think of how many times we think of our parents as the smartest people in the world. One day that will be me and I cannot wait to fill my grandchildren's heads with stories of my past. The reality that you grow smarter with age is something I am still naïve to see, but that is simply because I am a teenager and I guess have a need to be rebellious.
Moreover "live everyday as if it were your last". The fact that I am not scared to die is one of the reasons I am so happy, I live my life to the fullest because it's a fact of life that our days on earth are numbered. Whether or not I grow up to be successful and happy husband and father is what really motivates me. I want to someday to be bald and wrinkled and look back and say I made something of myself; at that point I will go wherever it is up there.
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