Dudes of the world, unite!!

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Muwee Quote Unquote


SUMO Chalo, quote unquote likhte hain.


Sat aur sarvesh bahut magte hain, inhe deptt. se nikaal dena chahiye


-- NBDi


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Sat Sir, i got a job in TI


HN But how is it relevant, i say


KVVM(seminar presentation) Can you give me an example of this?


Pani Yes Sir! (and waits for the next question)


UDas(mock seminar presentation) ... and then you pass hyperplanes


through your balls ...


HN So, will you be workign 10 hours a day from next sem?


Udas (horrified look) 10 hours?


HN Ok, maybe 8.


Udas Sir, I can do 5.


HN Ok, do 6.


Everyone (to Bobby, after he broke his leg by falling into a ditch)


Bobby, tera bahut ditch ho gaya.


Udas I love nobody and nobody loves me.


Pagal shiva(To Sat) This guy is Lyapunov himself!


Pagal Shiva(to Udas) Is that an analytical question or psychological question?


Udas(to Lal) Excuse me sir, if you mean to say that we are not good for anything, I BEG TO DIFFER!


Pyna(to Priya Parendhekar) Tu mere saath naachega kya?


Pyna(H10 valfi) Mujhe H 10 ke loo main jaana hai.


Sarvesh(to Udas & Sat) pain Abbe EDP karna hai kya?/pain


Pagal Shiva Even if i fall on a MOSFET, i wouldnt recognise it.


Gaurav Trivedi ek cutting maarne chal raha hai kya?


Lal(to Sahoo) Do you know there can be a case of sexual harrasment on


you.


GT(to HN) Sir, i will explain this thing to you.


HN No, you will not!


HN(for Lal) this fellow doesnt know what a manuscript is.


HN(to UDas) You Chump.


Keeda(possesive seminar presentation) my resistor, my capacitor, my inductor.


Lal(in Devices course); Ask me specific doubts.


Lal I am talking all crap


Lal Am i making sense?


DKS gzdghjzdgjhdg Am i talking greek.


MPD What i am trying to get at is ...?


HN Is it clear?


K. Shankar In 17, grbbblll grbblll grbllll ...


K. Shankar And the guy who did best BTP got the chance to touch the


oscilloscope.


Bobby(to Pagal Shiva) Sir, i find you intimidating.


Pagal Shiva(replies); Oh, you have broken my heart, i thought i was the gentlest soul on earth.


Sahoo(to DKS); sir, Prof. Lal doesnt have any practical fundaes.


Chandraprakash Tommorow may also come.


Ritu Obbe Daaayaa...


UDas Obbe Daaayaa...


Kakkar Huh !(dazed and confused)


Jonna Yo! Main NBDi se pehle 10 maar diya.


NBDi(to aatish ) Us se mat mila karo. Woh achhi ladki nahi hai.


Udas(to NBDi) we are not going to sell you to arabs!


Udas(to NBDi) Can i call you NBDi please??


NBDi(broadcasting to batch) Cant waste my dads hard earned money.


HN No self respecting UG will ever carry an umbrella.


HN It depends on who you go to bed with.


Ritu(to MPD) Sir, i want you.


MPD(to ranis daughter pointing to Poornima) Aunty ko namaste karo.


Poornima(replying back with a blush on her face) Kyon Sir, abhi nahi


sir ...


And then to her friends Pata hai, aaj MPD ne Rani ki beti ko mujhe


aunty kehne ko kaha -(


Poornima(when came to know abt Sats babe) S. Kulkarni!!! Yeh kaise ho


sakta hai? You mean Sarvesh Kulkarni ...!!


Aatish Assa lagga muze...


MPD(to MKM) Are you getting married?


Bobby(broadcasting) fatte mat maar.


NBDu Mujhe NBD ho raha hai.


SAT Is course main mujhe FF tension hain.


SAT Yeh ghat chics are great as long as they keep shut.


NBDi(to SAT on phone) Bye, the bill is rising.


NBDi(just b4 H10 valfi) ... Hope he doesnt come in his green shirt!


PANI(with hand on hips) Mere dil main dard ho raha hai.


PANI(explains) thoda haath slip ho gaya


PANI UDas ka dil kitna bada hai


HN(to PANI); Have you taken it for granted that you are getting a degree?


Sahoo(to Lal) Sir, mere EDP partners kuch kaam nahi karte


Lal EDL Enjoy!


NBDi(to SAT and UDas) I have a feeling that you two are compi gods.


Pyna(to poornima) start taking your own decisions.(has it worked?-- ed)


Pyna (EDP demo time) Main thodi der mein aata hoon. Mujhe hagne ka


enthu ho raha hai.


Everyone (to Sat, on getting nVidia) Pehle to ek Vidya nahin mil rahi


thi, ab achanak n-......


Neeraj Jha Dost,....


McKinsey interviewer So, are you a cut above the rest?


CSV Do you expect me to be modest?


MI No, just be frank.


CSV Good, I was anyway not going to be modest! ( goes on to I am god


mode).


CSV Stanford has no collective consciousness!


CSV (to Pani at last years h5 valfi) Tu dope marta hai?


Pani Haan.


CSV Tab to tera doping profile likha jayega.


Vasi (at imaginary conference, when asked which country he was from)


Hum us desh ke Vasi hain...





Sumo Abe, Das ko ADI milega to woh Adidas ho jayega.


Jose Aur agar Sun mila to?


Sumo and CSV (to each other, any time, anywhere, about any fart idea)


Ye idea to apne ko Eureka jitwayega.


Sumo and CSV (for any fart idea) Exactly, Precisely.


Parekhji (in TI interviews, to everyone; heavily paraphrased, since I


didnt have the good fortune of taking the Ti interview) You dont have


any basic fundaes. You should work for one year, and then apply again to


TI.


Sahoo (to HN) But sir, this problem is trivial! I dont know why you


need such a complicated solution.


HN Oh? But think again; this solution was by Shannon.


CSV (to batchmates in all sorts of cos.) Kabhi to tumhara ceo hamara


client hoga.


Manjunath (seeing Das in deptt corridor) Das, you must weight at least


a quintal!


Udas No sir, its just kg.


After a few days, scene has now shifted to Vadilal


Manju Das, look at yourself; you shouldnt be eating this.


Udas (gives horrified look) But sir, I survive on food.


Udas (during Res. Seminar) Let me see, I have...well.. slides.


Audience no response, everyone has fainted





Lal(to Keeda) Ill give you a DD.


Keeda Thank You, sir.


Shishir Sir, i want to apply the funda of petri net to sugar retailing in UP.


Vasi It is the unanimous opinion of the faculty that DD projects have entered BTP mode.


VRR(about every topic) You know WE can publish a paper on this (ed


thanx vidya).


HN(about VRR) Some people are hell bent on publishing papers.


SAT(b4 every exam and quiz) Aaj main puch maarne waala hoon.


VRR Shonul length! quatch plate !


VRR sir-cute!


MKM Im basically from gorakhpur.


ANC(to MKM) Arre tumhare gorakhpur main to train bhi nahi jaati.


MKM(to batch) Gorakhpur will become the next silicon valley of India.


Sumo June main hoga DDs comedy show!


Sahoo Main ki beti se shaadi karoonga!


Sahoo Main TI khareed loonga.


Sahoo Analog Devices ke liye mera soft corner hai.


PANI mere dost truck chalate hain(ed- not muwee junta).


Samit(to bobby) Tere ghar main jo nariyal ke ped hain, kabhi sar pe nariyal nahi girta hai.


Samit Bobby insaan nahin, gorilla hai.


PANI jab koi ladki mujhe hi bolti hai to main saturate ho jaata hoon.


CDP So, whats the point?


Joep Beriere(to MKM) I think you will be courteous enough to return back the expenses we incurred on you as soon as you get your first salary in Intel.


NBDi(pointing to a poster in aatishs room) Is this neelam tyagi(TNT)?


SAT Abbe, NBDi itna mag kaise marti hai?


SAT(this sem) Is baar to mujhe 10 maarna hi hai.


Shishir sab proton-neutron hai.


Maurits(to Bobby) I see you are more prepared than your friends, but you forgot your skis.


A French Guy(to Sahoo, the photographer,in Goa) Is she your SISTER?


Morpheus(sumo, pani et al) to Neo(HN); i can only give you the report. It is you you you who have to read and understand it.


HN(to Udas) You are basically a man in the wrong place.


Dutch secretary(to Pyna) Lets go and watch the windmill.


PANI Pyna ne aisa moka kaise chhod diya. Main hota to kood kood ke jaata. Dost gaye baad main.


Pyna(in H10 Valfi, standing on terrace with NBDi) --- gets a red rose


from NBDi --- Vidyas looking cute tonight! (ed- Unnecessary parts


khaached)


CSV(4th year H Valfi) Two words


His primary interest is in developing algorithms for performance driven


optimization of VLSI ckts - Authors introduction for CSV(ref Quantum


Computing, Resonance, Vol 5, No. , Sept000 pg 6)


Keeda, the then OC MI (on being woken up) Livewire has been sold for


six lakhs.


UDas Nahin aaya mera guide --- HN turns the corner


H wing Junta Bobby ko bumps!!


Bobby(Looks shocked) Ek minit, ek minit -- Junta grab Bobby


UDas Main bol raha hoon, yeh ek minit mein waapas aaye gaa. Nahin


aaya to mujhe bumps de dena. -- Lets Booby into room.


UDas mattress catches fire, so he wakes up Bobby...


UDas Bobby


Bobby Hmmm... -- turns and goes back to sleep


UDas Bobby, wake up, fire!


Bobby(calmly) hmm... fire -- opens eyes wide, looks shocked -- Fire???


-- looks around for huge flames...


Entire (well, almost) batch EDP SUCKS!!!


Jose(to Sat) Nice matching pink pillow case and bedsheet. -- grins


CSV Is pink for boys or girls?


[ Jose, CSV, and UDas run from Sats room ]


CSV (in McKinsey interview) I am a punster


McKinsey interviewer to CSV Can you estimate the number of Harry


Potter books sold in India


CSV (early placement season) Mujhey D&T join karna hain.


On a quiz broadcast on DD


Derek OBrein How did you get into IIT?


CSV Through the front gate.


Pyna attempting to explain why he maaro-ed the Mere saath nachega


quote I thought she was feeling lonely, and wanted to dance.


Sat to HN Most of the work in the department is in unintersting


things like devices.


HN --smiles


HN (about CSV taking the VLSI-CAD course) He made a mess of my course


UDas And I made a mess of the Image Processing course, sir.


HN At least you didnt mess up my course.


UDas different people at different times have told me that from


looks, I appear to be either a Bong or a Gulti.


Poornima(hurriedly) No, no, you dont look like Gulti.


MKM Udas to kutton ko pizza khilata hai.


Sumo Jab main udas ko pizza khila sakta hoon to udas kutton ko kyon


nahi khila sakta.


Udas looks in disbelief.


Sumo(hurt) Kya, bhool gaya us din pizzeria pe ...





Maurits(to bobby) If you are lucky, your friend(aatish) might leave some rice for you.


Lal grade urself on a scale of ten(ed- thankfully, he didnt asked us to grade him).


PANI where is the toilet?


Secretary That corner, best of luck!


Peiter Voskamp(to Pyna) Lekker(delicious), lekker!


Pyna no, i dont want liquor sir.


MKM(about Netherland) yahaan to ek cheez bilkul free hai.


SAT TI is my ultimate backup, if i dont get a US visa.


PANI(whenever in Intel lab) Chalo staff-c chalte hain. Coffee shack ka coffee hagar hai.


Samit(to bobby, in his dads presence) --picks up a book -- Hmm, yeh book bahut colorful hai.


MPD The clock has come a full circle(ed- lecture khatam).


Pyna(to MPD) That was a reckless decision sir.


MPD Get Out!


HN(at holi time) Do you people still get that masala milk in the hostel?


ANC Dear Prakash!


A student sir, the computer crashed!


VMG oh, where did it fell down from.


VMG( to people in SPANN) Why dont you poweroff unix also?


Sahoo(while siting at the compi during EDP) Mujhe nut nahi mil raha


Jonna Compi ke paas sabse bada NUT baitha hua hai!


Pagal Shiva Does that mean the computer can electronically come here or i will have to physically go there.


Vasi(to ADI head) M Techs are just excellent, All of them have GATE score greater than %


SAT NBDi ne mujhe valfi pe nahi bulaaya, mera dil toot gaya.


Udas(eyes gleaming) Tujhe valfi pe nahi bulaaya, is liye tu mujh se jal


raha hai.


Sat Ab main NBDi ko pataoonga. taaki woh berkeley ke valfi main mujhe


zaroor bulaaye


Sat(after maroing above quote) Ab main kabhi mooh nahi kholoonga.


Sridhar Chalo, neend aa raha hai.


HN(to UDas) mail - subject Apology Im sorry for everything. I


havnt given much time to you. From now on, ill meet you everyday.


HN All of you, please come back for PhD.


Lal may be if you can stay for one more year, we can give you PhDs.


Interveiwer(to Das) whats the meaning of Udipta?


Dasblushes Brilliant, sir/blushes


Sarvesh(abt S. Kulkarni) Abbe daya, Ghati hoke woh bong ki babe kaise


ban sakti hai?


SAT(to Das) Abbe, tu meri babe pe lech maarta hai.


Sumo SAT ko jabse babe milli hai, tab se woh cash source se cash sink ban gaya hai.


Vidya & Poornima There is a letter for Udas addressed as #, H10.


Please collect it before the girls here open it up(ed - cant remember


exact wordings, HELP)


CSV to Sushmita Banerjee Sweet nothings, sweet nothings


UDas (drunk) to unidentified lady(??) at 4th year h8 valfi I love you


Udas (about DDP) DaDaP DaDaP ke is dil se aah nikalti.....


UDas and Sat (After every lab session) Chal lets go for Kaho naa


pyar hai


UDas She has great curves. (irrelevant stuff deleted)


Mail from UDas to a female(w/ great curves) on 15th Feb, 1 am Happy


Valentines Day....sorry I am a little late...


Reply Thanks...it is OK if you are a little late.


ASDas(sumos x-roomp) Poore mewee main mujhe sirf SAT hi thoda normal


lagta hai.(ed- he didnt know much abt SAT then)


Lal(to staudents taking microsensors) From now on, you are my roman


slaves. Youll work 16 hrs a day and for recreation, you can only go for


walks.


Lal(to Sahoo & Sumo) Yours was a great EDP batch.


Udas(everyday) Main kal se DDP karoonga.


Pani Mere bhai ko - baar kutton ne kaata hai. Ek baar bhai ne mujhe


kaat liya, to mujhe rabies aur tetanus ka injection lena pada.


CSV(techfest times at competitions desk) Where can we take part in the


Trimungal throwing competition.(freshie gets confused, calls manager on


mobile)


Bobby Main dhoop main kaala ho jata hoon; tumne shayad notice nahin kiya


hoga.


Pani Truth is kadva (ed kadva = bitter in hindi)


Bobby But kadua is tiger (ed mallu fundaes)


Pyna (the syllogist) Hence truth is tiger.


HN Udas, you should work harder.


Udas Hmm sir.


HN No, I dont mean DDP. Work harder after getting out from here.


(not exactly quote unquote, but wot the heck!)


Funky Abe yaar, do something cool; meri tarah ddp kar.


Udas Usse kya hoga?


Funky Tera guide tujse impress ho jayega.


Udas Tho?


Funky Tho tera paper chchap jayega.


Udas Aur phir?


Funky Tera Berkeley se schol aa jayega.


Udas Hmm..


Funky Phir tera stud job lag jayega.


Udas Phir?


Funky Phir tu khoob kamayega,


Udas Phir?


Funky Phir tu baith ke aish karega, aish?


Udas To mein ab kya kar raha hoon?


Guru hai apna Udas. DDP -- total bakwaas.


VRR(to K) You should do a PhD under me. We can publish 10-15 papers and


you can finish the PhD within years.


vani Intel Lab Lukhon se bhara hua hai ... Mujhe wahan jaate bahut darr lagta


hai.


vani Mujhe sabse jyada darr pyna se lagta hai.[ed - as told by Vidya]


MPD If indians were like Americans, half the population would have murdered


the other half.


MPD Before being an engineer, you would have to become an individual.


Lal What was that war-like term i used??


CSV(ohm senti) I would even like to thank Udas.


RG - for the rest of the day [in Intel Lab DJ list].


CSV That was the best thing i ve done in any lab till day.


SAT Vidya is much more relaxed these days.


Sumo Chalo quote unquote khatam karte hain.





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